I've created my first blog during my first semester of college. My roommate was a huge blogger. At that time, I really didn't understand what a blog was. It became more of a place that I put pointless things (not all the time, but a lot of the time), such as the posts people put on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. that a lot of people just don't care about, like what I'm doing in that moment or just the fact that I'm happy. No offense to any readers that might post those kinds of things, it's just my opinion. Then it developed into a place where I would "publish" my poems. A lot of them evolved around boys/relationships. Now that I'm a wife and mother, I look back at those posts, which some were only 4-5 years ago, and, not necessarily do I feel embarrassed about them, but I noticed I've learned a lot more about life (more specifically my life) since then, and I want to change directions with my blog of "Becca Writes" to be more meaningful things to me. Therefore, I'm starting fresh.
I figured I'd start this blog with introducing myself with my own personal hearing history and how it relates to all that I plan to write about in the future.
Now, you might have noticed that I've called my blog "Becca Writes," but the URL is deafbeccawrites.blogspot.com. That's right! I'm Deaf! Now, why the big D? In short, little d deaf is more medically deaf, whereas big D Deaf is culturally deaf. And yes there is definitely a culture. I'll save that for another time. But though I am medically hard of hearing and not deaf, I am culturally Deaf, therefore the big D.
You see, my older brother is severely hard of hearing, so when I was born, my parents watched me carefully to see if I could hear things, which I did. But when I was 6, I came home and told my mom, "My ears are stuffy." We went to my brother's Audiologist, Dr. West, and found that I had hearing loss in a very similar pattern as my brother. I idolized this brother growing up, so getting hearing aids was super cool!
Until, one day in first grade I was tired at school so I put my head in my hand and my teacher, Mrs. Aschenbrener, stopped teaching. She asked whoever was making the noise (via game or something) to stop. I continued to look around the room, thinking, "Who brought a noisy game to school?" Mrs. A started to lose her patience and started walking towards where the sound was. Being scared because she was walking towards me, I immediately sat up straight and she stopped. Apparently the sound had stopped so she could continue teaching. I instantly realized that my hearing aid was giving feedback and I had no idea! I couldn't hear it myself. Feeling so embarrassed, I didn't like to wear them anymore.
Other stories about my childhood with hearing aids include being left out of friend groups or even games like the telephone game, my best friend ignoring me for the rest of my life, even though we went to church together, and even finding out that my hearing aids squealed every time I smiled too. I was pretty discouraged by it all that I didn't wear them much until I got an upgrade. Lucky for me, my dad had good insurance that actually paid some for hearing aids (don't get me started on insurance right now...that'd be a story for later too). Finally in middle school I got a good pair that didn't give feedback unless I smothered them. I could smile as much as I wanted, and could hear somewhat better than without them.
In high school, I had to watch a ton of documentaries. Have you ever noticed that documentaries do not film the people talking very often? This makes it so hard for me to lip read to understand what they're saying! After having to take the VHS home to watch the entire thing again because the TV didn't have Closed Caption (CC) capabilities, my mom and I went in to talk with my vice principal. He suggested I be put in Special Ed....which made absolutely no sense. I was taking College Prep (CP) and Pre-Advanced Placement (AP) classes at the time. I thought, "I needed an accommodation, not special education. I'm not stupid!" I didn't quite understand at the time what "Special Education" really was, or what it's role was. It was exactly what I needed. Sadly, because I didn't understand it, I never got the official (such as law/recorded) accommodations I needed.
Also in high school, we had an assembly where the school career counselors were prepping us for college and all the things we needed to do for that. I heard them say that we needed 2 years of a foreign language to graduate from high school and be accepted into college. I figured out later, that it wasn't a graduation requirement, nor was it a prerequisite for any colleges...it was simply a recommendation since a lot of 4-year Universities like to see that. But it took my a while to learn that. When I "heard" it the first time, I freaked out because there was no way I could take Spanish, French, or German and succeed with my hearing. I can barely speak English tone properly, how could I possibly get the other "accents" down? My parents worked with me and helped me find an American Sign Language (ASL) at the local Junior College that I could take as a high school student. One semester at the college level is equivalent to 1 year at a high school level. Meaning, I could get my "2 years of a foreign language" completed in just one year. My parents and my younger brother took ASL 1 with me. It was great! We had a family night every week for the semester and would go out to eat at Denny's afterwards sometimes. It was a lot of fun! The next semester, my dad had a big project at work that held him up, so he came only a couple times, and my mom has arthritis in her fingers, which makes signing hard, so she stayed home. Luckily I was 16/17 so I took my 15-year-old brother with me each time. That's where my love for ASL began.
My parents taught us the ABCs and a few other things in Sign Language, but that was about it. All else was lip reading for my older brother and me. And we were pretty good at it. I mean, my brother is totally tone deaf too, but I can actually hear music and love it. I just can't distinguish what the words are, so I have to ask someone what the song is called to go and find the lyrics and sing them over and over with the music so I could piece it all together. But hey, that's my life and I don't hate it. In fact, I see it as a blessing because I have to look at the lyrics and I can really tell if it's an appropriate song or not that I want to be listening to.
With that said, I grew up, and still am, very religious. As a Christian, I like to be involved in things that are "virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy." Meaning, I try to separate myself from the world and focus on things that help me find true peace. Not just momentary peace, but lasting peace. For myself, I find that hard music, swearing, and immorality pull me away from that peace, so i don't like to be a part of it. So having to look up lyrics or watch a movie with CC is really a blessing. They help me stay on the right path.
Fast forward to 2014. I had graduated from a 4-year university in just 3 1/2 years (had a roommate who had taking 4 years of ASL in high school), served an English speaking, full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and had just finished my first year as a full-time high school math teacher. I was a counselor for a summer camp kind of thing called Especially for Youth (EFY) when I saw a guy that had a cochlear implant. My jaw just about dropped! He wasn't working the same session as mine (many sessions happened at the same time but in different places majority of the time), so I let him be but hoped I would meet him later. I honestly didn't have any friends who were deaf/Deaf and longed to use my ASL again...I really hadn't used it in years so I was pretty bad at it...seriously. Whether or not he was just deaf or if he was actually Deaf, I didn't really know, but what I did know is that I wanted to be this guy's friend! I wanted to improve my ASL (if he knew the language) so I could actually use it in my future (especially with kids because I can't hear squat from them). Didn't see him again for a whole month, when finally he was actually working the same session as me! Long story short....he knew ASL (Deaf--score!) and he was willing to sign around me in the beginning. As that was the first of 4 weeks that we worked together, eventually we went on a date (remember, this was not the goal) between the last two and the next summer we were married.
It wasn't until we were married that we really started using ASL in our relationship more. We started attending an LDS ward that was for the language and I had to really pick it up to get involved. But I felt so loved, encompassed and accepted! A hard of hearing person living in a hearing world is so tough! But when you enter the Deaf world and embrace it, you develop so much more! I started attending a girls night out with a group of girls who were deaf. I would always introduce myself as hard of hearing, but they didn't care. A couple months after our first anniversary, we had our first daughter. She started to pick up signs around 6 months. Now, at 2, she can communicate really well with Deaf people. She loves to talk too, so it can sometimes take a while to convince her to switch languages, haha. People also tell me all the time that she speaks (English) really well for her age. My husband and I both truly believe that it's the ASL. Her brain started learning a language and communicating much younger than any child with only a spoken language. Therefore her language is currently advanced. At her 2-year check up, her doctor asked if she was saying 2-word sentences yet. I simply told him that she's saying 5-word sentences easily, keeping in mind that she "speaks" fully sentences and conversations in ASL, and has been for a few months. It's crazy what ASL can do for us.
So, ASL is a big part of being Deaf, simply because that is what brings the culture together. You can be involved in the Deaf culture whether you're Deaf, hard of hearing, or even hearing. As long as you know ASL. But even with that being said, people who are hard of hearing don't always feel like they fit in. Mostly because in the Deaf culture, people will ask if you are Deaf or hearing. It's as if there is no in-between. They do understand that there is, but culturally, it's mostly one or the other. This was a hard concept for me to grasp because I love my hearing culture. I love being able to sing, listen to music and talk with my family and friends. (Both our families do not sign.) Our friend that kept trying to convince me at Wendy's that I'm Deaf, really tried my own perception of my identity. This happened when our daughter was a few months old. I had to come to realize that just because I'm part of the Deaf culture now and trying to embrace it, doesn't mean I'm leaving my hearing culture behind. I can have the best of both worlds. I'm just on a journey to do it. At this point in time, what do I classify myself as when someone asks? In the hearing culture, I'm hard of hearing (they don't understand the concept of being able to hear at all if you're "deaf"), but in the Deaf culture, I'm Deaf.
I'm no where near to perfect with the ASL language (pardon the redundancy), but I am immersed in it so much more than ever before and I absolutely love it! Yes, my identity was challenged, and yes, I'm still working on trying to understand it, but I have learned to accept myself even more. I truly am Deaf and proud of it!
I want this blog to be open and real. As a wife and mother who cannot hear well, what challenges do I face? What spiritual experiences and thoughts do I have and want to share with the world? These are the kinds of things that I want to blog about. So really, this is about how I may have hearing loss, but that doesn't limit my abilities and my understanding of different things in life. It just gives me a different perspective. I can and do write. Therefore, Becca Writes!
I figured I'd start this blog with introducing myself with my own personal hearing history and how it relates to all that I plan to write about in the future.
Now, you might have noticed that I've called my blog "Becca Writes," but the URL is deafbeccawrites.blogspot.com. That's right! I'm Deaf! Now, why the big D? In short, little d deaf is more medically deaf, whereas big D Deaf is culturally deaf. And yes there is definitely a culture. I'll save that for another time. But though I am medically hard of hearing and not deaf, I am culturally Deaf, therefore the big D.
You see, my older brother is severely hard of hearing, so when I was born, my parents watched me carefully to see if I could hear things, which I did. But when I was 6, I came home and told my mom, "My ears are stuffy." We went to my brother's Audiologist, Dr. West, and found that I had hearing loss in a very similar pattern as my brother. I idolized this brother growing up, so getting hearing aids was super cool!
Until, one day in first grade I was tired at school so I put my head in my hand and my teacher, Mrs. Aschenbrener, stopped teaching. She asked whoever was making the noise (via game or something) to stop. I continued to look around the room, thinking, "Who brought a noisy game to school?" Mrs. A started to lose her patience and started walking towards where the sound was. Being scared because she was walking towards me, I immediately sat up straight and she stopped. Apparently the sound had stopped so she could continue teaching. I instantly realized that my hearing aid was giving feedback and I had no idea! I couldn't hear it myself. Feeling so embarrassed, I didn't like to wear them anymore.
Other stories about my childhood with hearing aids include being left out of friend groups or even games like the telephone game, my best friend ignoring me for the rest of my life, even though we went to church together, and even finding out that my hearing aids squealed every time I smiled too. I was pretty discouraged by it all that I didn't wear them much until I got an upgrade. Lucky for me, my dad had good insurance that actually paid some for hearing aids (don't get me started on insurance right now...that'd be a story for later too). Finally in middle school I got a good pair that didn't give feedback unless I smothered them. I could smile as much as I wanted, and could hear somewhat better than without them.
In high school, I had to watch a ton of documentaries. Have you ever noticed that documentaries do not film the people talking very often? This makes it so hard for me to lip read to understand what they're saying! After having to take the VHS home to watch the entire thing again because the TV didn't have Closed Caption (CC) capabilities, my mom and I went in to talk with my vice principal. He suggested I be put in Special Ed....which made absolutely no sense. I was taking College Prep (CP) and Pre-Advanced Placement (AP) classes at the time. I thought, "I needed an accommodation, not special education. I'm not stupid!" I didn't quite understand at the time what "Special Education" really was, or what it's role was. It was exactly what I needed. Sadly, because I didn't understand it, I never got the official (such as law/recorded) accommodations I needed.
Also in high school, we had an assembly where the school career counselors were prepping us for college and all the things we needed to do for that. I heard them say that we needed 2 years of a foreign language to graduate from high school and be accepted into college. I figured out later, that it wasn't a graduation requirement, nor was it a prerequisite for any colleges...it was simply a recommendation since a lot of 4-year Universities like to see that. But it took my a while to learn that. When I "heard" it the first time, I freaked out because there was no way I could take Spanish, French, or German and succeed with my hearing. I can barely speak English tone properly, how could I possibly get the other "accents" down? My parents worked with me and helped me find an American Sign Language (ASL) at the local Junior College that I could take as a high school student. One semester at the college level is equivalent to 1 year at a high school level. Meaning, I could get my "2 years of a foreign language" completed in just one year. My parents and my younger brother took ASL 1 with me. It was great! We had a family night every week for the semester and would go out to eat at Denny's afterwards sometimes. It was a lot of fun! The next semester, my dad had a big project at work that held him up, so he came only a couple times, and my mom has arthritis in her fingers, which makes signing hard, so she stayed home. Luckily I was 16/17 so I took my 15-year-old brother with me each time. That's where my love for ASL began.
My parents taught us the ABCs and a few other things in Sign Language, but that was about it. All else was lip reading for my older brother and me. And we were pretty good at it. I mean, my brother is totally tone deaf too, but I can actually hear music and love it. I just can't distinguish what the words are, so I have to ask someone what the song is called to go and find the lyrics and sing them over and over with the music so I could piece it all together. But hey, that's my life and I don't hate it. In fact, I see it as a blessing because I have to look at the lyrics and I can really tell if it's an appropriate song or not that I want to be listening to.
With that said, I grew up, and still am, very religious. As a Christian, I like to be involved in things that are "virtuous, lovely, of good report, or praiseworthy." Meaning, I try to separate myself from the world and focus on things that help me find true peace. Not just momentary peace, but lasting peace. For myself, I find that hard music, swearing, and immorality pull me away from that peace, so i don't like to be a part of it. So having to look up lyrics or watch a movie with CC is really a blessing. They help me stay on the right path.
Fast forward to 2014. I had graduated from a 4-year university in just 3 1/2 years (had a roommate who had taking 4 years of ASL in high school), served an English speaking, full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and had just finished my first year as a full-time high school math teacher. I was a counselor for a summer camp kind of thing called Especially for Youth (EFY) when I saw a guy that had a cochlear implant. My jaw just about dropped! He wasn't working the same session as mine (many sessions happened at the same time but in different places majority of the time), so I let him be but hoped I would meet him later. I honestly didn't have any friends who were deaf/Deaf and longed to use my ASL again...I really hadn't used it in years so I was pretty bad at it...seriously. Whether or not he was just deaf or if he was actually Deaf, I didn't really know, but what I did know is that I wanted to be this guy's friend! I wanted to improve my ASL (if he knew the language) so I could actually use it in my future (especially with kids because I can't hear squat from them). Didn't see him again for a whole month, when finally he was actually working the same session as me! Long story short....he knew ASL (Deaf--score!) and he was willing to sign around me in the beginning. As that was the first of 4 weeks that we worked together, eventually we went on a date (remember, this was not the goal) between the last two and the next summer we were married.
It wasn't until we were married that we really started using ASL in our relationship more. We started attending an LDS ward that was for the language and I had to really pick it up to get involved. But I felt so loved, encompassed and accepted! A hard of hearing person living in a hearing world is so tough! But when you enter the Deaf world and embrace it, you develop so much more! I started attending a girls night out with a group of girls who were deaf. I would always introduce myself as hard of hearing, but they didn't care. A couple months after our first anniversary, we had our first daughter. She started to pick up signs around 6 months. Now, at 2, she can communicate really well with Deaf people. She loves to talk too, so it can sometimes take a while to convince her to switch languages, haha. People also tell me all the time that she speaks (English) really well for her age. My husband and I both truly believe that it's the ASL. Her brain started learning a language and communicating much younger than any child with only a spoken language. Therefore her language is currently advanced. At her 2-year check up, her doctor asked if she was saying 2-word sentences yet. I simply told him that she's saying 5-word sentences easily, keeping in mind that she "speaks" fully sentences and conversations in ASL, and has been for a few months. It's crazy what ASL can do for us.
So, ASL is a big part of being Deaf, simply because that is what brings the culture together. You can be involved in the Deaf culture whether you're Deaf, hard of hearing, or even hearing. As long as you know ASL. But even with that being said, people who are hard of hearing don't always feel like they fit in. Mostly because in the Deaf culture, people will ask if you are Deaf or hearing. It's as if there is no in-between. They do understand that there is, but culturally, it's mostly one or the other. This was a hard concept for me to grasp because I love my hearing culture. I love being able to sing, listen to music and talk with my family and friends. (Both our families do not sign.) Our friend that kept trying to convince me at Wendy's that I'm Deaf, really tried my own perception of my identity. This happened when our daughter was a few months old. I had to come to realize that just because I'm part of the Deaf culture now and trying to embrace it, doesn't mean I'm leaving my hearing culture behind. I can have the best of both worlds. I'm just on a journey to do it. At this point in time, what do I classify myself as when someone asks? In the hearing culture, I'm hard of hearing (they don't understand the concept of being able to hear at all if you're "deaf"), but in the Deaf culture, I'm Deaf.
I'm no where near to perfect with the ASL language (pardon the redundancy), but I am immersed in it so much more than ever before and I absolutely love it! Yes, my identity was challenged, and yes, I'm still working on trying to understand it, but I have learned to accept myself even more. I truly am Deaf and proud of it!
I want this blog to be open and real. As a wife and mother who cannot hear well, what challenges do I face? What spiritual experiences and thoughts do I have and want to share with the world? These are the kinds of things that I want to blog about. So really, this is about how I may have hearing loss, but that doesn't limit my abilities and my understanding of different things in life. It just gives me a different perspective. I can and do write. Therefore, Becca Writes!
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